i told her about it... i told her that maybe GOd have plans for us.... well... it could be intepreted in two different meanings which one would be both of us could be together and the other is both of us have different ways to go.... nevertheless i don't know and couldn't care less... Now just let GoD lead the way... while i can focus on my life back again which i've lost track few weeks ago thinking about LOVE and future... don't know really foolish or it's something serious that i've done....
However after telling here, now i feel a lot better at least don't need to think what she is thinking or feel or to understand what kind of person she is while she is not opening up her heart completely to me...
Feels a bit sad of course, cause till now whether she really serious about me and actually loves me too or she is just playing a fool with me, also is unclear to me.... the whole pic is still not complete in my mind. Or after all, I’m not the One for her?
After i send the message to her, she reply me back by asking whether we could still be good friends and play full out with her or not ?.... i couldn't answer.... i try to phone her actually to clarify something but didn't pick up... she was in the washroom....
For this moment; i really don't know the answer.... because.... i don't know what to do!!!
Good Friends? i think, just talk about her and i will have that kind of weird feeling coming again... the feeling of SAD yet HAppY... Disappointed but yet i see HoPe ... and lots more...
i think maybe i just too fell in L.O.V.E with her....
When i going back to KL, don't really know how to face her, not because i hate her or what... but i think everytime i see her, i will feel sad cause she is Leaving soon... the more feelings i'm putting in, the more i'll think of her when she is gone...
Maybe it's a lesson that i should learn , to have self-control , know when to act or letting go, and of course be careful where the love that i eager to place on (ppl,place,or time) ....
The reason that i don't keep on pursuit on HER is because i see no point! Not no point because she is leaving but no point if SHE is not willing to commit.... even if she engage in this relationship, would she commit to it? or she just want another fun while she is in KL? haha... Something to think about...
over this past two weeks i think is the memorable weeks that i have... not because of the fun, but the sadness that i've been through... i never like a girl till i dreamt about her for two nitez.... think of HER early in the morning when i woke up, brushed my teeth, having breakfast lunch dinner , when i'm driving and guess what? even my
I even wrote and composed a song for her....
now i don't know whether i want to play it for her or not.... Maybe for my own past time when i think of her i guess...
BUT>>> it's FINALLY over... i don't know whether we could get together in BGR or not before she leaves because i still LOVE her...but one thing it is that i don't need to worry about it anymore or engage any feelings on it since she doesn't want to have any relationship at the moment....
This bible verse really nails it into my head...
Jeremiah 29:11-14
[ For i know the plans i have for you , the Lord's declaration- "plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to ME and come and pray to ME, and i will listen to you. You will seek ME and find ME when you search for ME with all your heart................. "I will be found by you" ]
this verse really touches my heart since yesterday but i was still struggling with my feelings yesterday and even on sunday.... however it's getting better now.... Hope that GOD keeps his promises in my LIFE...
only he could comfort me and open up my horizon...
may GOD bless!
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